family morality

            Chenyang Li argues that grown children have filial obligation to their parents because their relationship is more than that of friends and love. He thinks that children should repay the early sacrifices by their parents. I disagree with his argument.

He fails to consider happiness of aged parents and grown up children. Will the parents want to be taken care of by their children if they know that their children are not happy? Children may not be happy due to a financial problem, or due to the unloved relationship they have with their parents. Li says that even in these situations, children have filial obligation to their parents. However, in such a situation, both parents and children may not be happy. Even if parents and children love each other, parents may feel guilty or even shame if they know that they are causing a financial problem to their children. Children with financial problem may face various difficulties and not be able to have good relationships with their children, causing another problem.

If aged parents and grown children do not love each other, then how can children be happy helping parents and how can parents be happy being helped by someone who they do not love? Children may feel some kind of happiness, or superiority by the act of helping, but this seems unrelated to filial obligation and more of doing a favor. Some may think that parents will be happy since they are getting help and potentially living a better life. However, do such parents deserve to be helped? Parents and children have special bonds between them that tend to create loving relationships. In order for the relationship to go wrong between them, something significant must happen. If parents do not feel any guilt or shame from the past events and are still getting help from children, I do not think they are moral and do not deserve filial obligation from their children.